Monday, June 3, 2013

Attention Seeking...

    Parenting is hard. Just when you figure something out it changes. Just when you have your life under control something blows up in your face. Or at least in MY face and it reminds me every single day that I am imperfect. I often get those little yells from Emree, "I wish I lived at Sadie's house!" haha It always makes me giggle because she seems so a head of her time. Sometimes I am tempted to say back, "Me too. Why don't we go drop you off there."
    My most recent realization is that I have a large parenting flaw that needs to be fixed. I tend to give a lot of attention to the child throwing the fit and very little to the child behaving themselves. I have created a lot of negative attention seeking in my home. For example, Preschool Graduation: Emree was the only child who would not participate and stand up there and do what she was suppose to because she wanted me to cuddle her and give her  what she thought may be better attention then participating. Do you have a child that does/ did this? Any ideas? What did you do?

3 comments:

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

It sounds like you've already got it figured out Danielle! Seeing a problem is the biggest part of the solution. Go Danielle.

Kacey Nielsen said...

When Scarlet refused to dance for her first recital, I did a lot of advanced prep for the second and gave her a ton of choices. How would you like your makeup? Where would you like me to sit? Do you want to put on your shoes before or after we get there? She definitely liked that she felt like she was the one running the game. And then she got older and life got even better :)

Kelsey said...

My job right now is working with children to change behaviors and implement new skills. A lot of families have this same problem. However, I am sure you are nothing like the families I work with! Children often seek attention (negative more then positive) because they know they will get it from mom and dad. Sometimes doing something bas is the only time they get any attention. I know you and Ty are not like that, this is just what I have seen from my families. But something we have done, like you mentioned, is lots and lots of praise for good behavior. We have made a "I caught you being good" jar. It has lots of rewards...little ones. But do it at random. Typically, the more praise they get for good behavior, the more they will want to be good. Also mommy/daddy dates are good to do as well. But also just the fact that you see this is amazing. Don't forget you are an amazing parent!